The impact of adults' quarrels on babies

It is normal for couples to quarrel, and they can usually make up quickly after a quarrel. Many couples have deep family conflicts and still quarrel from time to time after having children, believing that quarreling will have little impact on the baby. In fact, this view is wrong. Even ignorant children will be greatly affected by long-term quarrels. So, what are the effects of adults’ quarrels on babies? Let’s take a look below.

Some parents mistakenly believe that quarreling does not seem to have much impact on young infants and toddlers because the baby cannot understand anyway. Occupational therapist Huang Mingxi said that hearing is a body system that develops very early in the fetus. Even when the fetus is still in the mother's belly and separated by amniotic fluid, it can feel the difference between quarreling sounds and normal whispers. When a baby is born, he is very nearsighted, so his hearing is very sensitive. Unless it is a cold war, the baby may not be able to feel it. Otherwise, if he hears loud cursing, he can feel different emotions according to animal instinct.

As the vision and physical abilities gradually develop, the baby can see the actions of his parents when they quarrel - throwing things. Although the baby does not understand the meaning of these actions, he discovers that these actions are possible. One day, he suddenly imitates his parents' bad actions of throwing things and hitting people.

The main developmental task for infants aged 0 to 1.5 years old is trust and distrust. They should establish an attachment relationship with adults. If they are unable to establish a good attachment relationship with important adults around them at this time, they may become insecure because they do not know who to rely on, which will also affect their self-esteem and the establishment of intimate relationships in the future.

However, usually when parents quarrel, they are unable to respond to the baby's needs because the parents have not yet dealt with their own emotions, and of course they cannot take care of the baby; or they are accompanying and responding to the baby's needs one moment, but ignore them the next moment because of the quarrel. This situation will make the baby distrust the outside world. The baby will feel as if no one pays attention to him when he needs help or comfort, which makes it difficult for the baby to establish a good trust relationship with others in the future.