These few words from parents actually affect their children's lives!

In the process of children's growth, what they need is the love and care of their parents, and they should also pay attention to encouragement. Parents often say these words to their children. It is precisely because these words dispel some of the children's ideas that cause the children to develop a rebellious mentality. I believe that most parents have benefited from these words, and they say them to their children and to others more than once. What are these words?

1. Don’t do it. It’s so difficult.

Seeing my baby struggling when encountering difficulties, I always feel distressed and want to persuade him, "Don't do it, it's so difficult." Fortunately, I finally held back. Instead, when he kept trying and wanted to give up, I told him, "Come on, baby. It's not that difficult. You can do it!" The reason was that before my husband and I started dating, he always thought that he couldn't ride a bike. In fact, he learned to ride a bike when he was very young, but the first time his parents taught him to ride a bike, he couldn't ride it well and fell off and was injured. Several times after that he wanted to learn how to ride a bicycle, his parents were afraid that he would get hurt again and advised him, “Don’t learn it. It’s too difficult and you won’t be able to learn it!” So ​​he lost confidence and felt that riding a bicycle was something he would never be able to do. As a result, when we were dating, I suggested we ride a bike around the park. He was too embarrassed to say he didn't know how to do it, so he agreed. Then I saw him hesitate for a long time before he finally went from twisting and turning to riding normally. Later, when Xiaobao was injured while learning to ride a bicycle, I said the same thing and my husband told me his story. That’s how I realized that my heartache might actually harm the child. In fact, children will always have deficiencies in their understanding and ability to act, but they are not as weak as you think. Through exploration and experimentation, they will slowly find ways to cope with the problems and become better and better. Your distressed dissuasion will instead affect the child's confidence, making him afraid to face difficulties, and gradually lose his creativity!

2. Don’t eat by yourself. The food is getting cold. I’ll feed you.

Feeding children is a difficult task that every parent must go through. When children are young, they really lack the self-care ability and cannot eat by themselves, so you have to feed them. When children grow up, they are very slow to eat for various reasons, so you have to feed them. I stopped feeding my baby since he was 2 years old and let him eat by himself. But because of work, I asked my mother-in-law to take care of him. So now he is 3 years old, and the boy who used to eat by himself starts to be nagging and asking to be fed again. Because my mother-in-law always says when the child is eating, "The food is getting cold, don't eat it by yourself, I'll feed you." So the child was too lazy to eat by himself and freed up his hands and eyes to play with other things. This lazy thinking was also the beginning of his loss of independence. “Don’t put on your clothes by yourself, I’ll help you” and “I’ll carry your schoolbag”. As a result, children become dependent and wait for adults to help with everything, and they have no idea of ​​taking care of themselves at all. So when I found that Xiaobao's self-care ability began to weaken, I understood my mother-in-law's love for the child, but this was not conducive to the child's growth. So I communicated with my mother-in-law, and she stopped spoiling the child and doing everything for him. Xiaobao's own abilities finally improved slowly.

3. Don’t interrupt. What do children know?

Adults always look at their children with a superior attitude and the mentality of an experienced person, so when talking, the phrase "What do children know? Don't interrupt" is not only something you often heard when you were a child, but it is also something you often say to your children unconsciously now! My parents always ask me how come I loved chatting with them when I was little? How come I love chatting now that I have grown up? They don't know that the reason for my change is that every time at the beginning of a conversation, they would be very interested and willing to listen to me from the perspective of teasing me or communicating with me about family affection, but once I asked a question they didn't understand, didn't want to answer, or didn't understand or agree with my answer, they would use this sentence to perfunctorily answer me. Over time, when they chatted with me, I would just follow their thoughts and never take the initiative to bring up topics or express my own opinions. Because I feel they hurt my self-esteem. When I was young, I longed for their approval. When I grew up, I felt that they still treated me as a child. Because I was deeply affected by this, I would like to tell all parents not to often say to their children, "What do kids know? Don't interrupt." Doing so will only undermine children's ability to express their thoughts and make them less and less willing to speak.

4. Don’t be selfish, share

Today's children are absolutely little princesses and little princes at home, and are spoiled by everyone. Therefore, it is easy for them to develop a selfish character that is self-centered and wants to have everything to themselves. In order to prevent this from happening, many parents will pay great attention to emphasizing "don't be selfish, share" in the process of educating their children. However, sharing should be done in moderation, and excessive sharing will also cause parents a headache. My best friend pays great attention to teaching her children to share, so her daughter has been a very generous person since she was young. My best friend's family runs a snack wholesale business. The children at home have endless snacks. When the children come to play at home, my daughter will take the initiative to take out a lot of snacks for the children, and even give a lot of snacks for the children to take home. It’s even worse when we go out to play. As long as the kids ask for some, I’ll run home and get several packets of it to share with them. It’s nothing once or twice, but even if my family is really in the wholesale business, we can’t stand our daughter “sharing” like this! What's more, my daughter will share more than just snacks, but also pocket money, toys, picture books and comics, etc. Even if you can see that she is not happy about it sometimes, her developed "sharing" character will still drive her to share with great pain! My best friend is very worried about this. It is normal for children to be willing to share, but not all people are kind. If children continue to overshare like this, they will only suffer losses. Therefore, parents should teach their children to share and also let them understand what moderate sharing is.