Parents' tone of voice determines their children's emotional intelligence and IQ

Tone of trust

Children especially want to be trusted by adults, especially their parents, so you must show full trust when talking to them. For example, if your child wants to learn to play badminton, you can say to him in a trusting tone: "Xingxing, as long as you study hard and study seriously, you will be able to learn to play." This will invisibly give the child confidence and make him understand that only persistence can lead to success. If you use a sarcastic tone: "You only have three-minute enthusiasm and you still want to play basketball?" it will hurt the child's self-esteem and make him lack confidence in his abilities.

Respectful tone

Children's self-awareness begins to sprout from the age of two or three, and this self-awareness will become stronger as they grow older. When a child has his own opinions, it means that he knows his own strength and ability. When he puts forward different opinions and requests, don't think that he is not listening to you and is going against you, and oppose him rudely. If you ask your child to learn English, but he still wants to play with his friends, you cannot lose your temper and say: “You are becoming more and more disobedient as you grow older. If you don’t study hard, what can you do when you grow up?” Doing so will only make your child hate learning more. You should use a respectful tone: "Then you can play for a while, but after you finish playing, you must learn English." The child will be happy to accept it.

Negotiating tone

Every child has self-esteem. When you ask your child to do something, you can use a negotiating tone to let him know that he is equal to you and that you respect him. For example, if you want your child to clean up the toys scattered on the floor, you can say, "Xingxing, leaving toys everywhere is a bad habit. Can you help your mother clean up the toys?" Never use a commanding tone: "What happened to you? You left toys everywhere. Go and clean them up quickly!" Otherwise, the child will feel disgusted when he hears you reproaching him, and will be unhappy even if he does as you ask.

Appreciative tone

Every child has strengths and a desire to express himself. Discovering a child's strengths and praising them will make him more willing to express himself. The child drew a picture, maybe it is not very good, but the child’s enthusiasm and seriousness in painting are its biggest advantages. When your child shows you his or her painting, you cannot simply brush it off with a few words: “It’s just average, you need to practice more.” This will make the child lose enthusiasm and confidence in painting.

His work should be affirmed in an appreciative tone: "I didn't expect my baby to draw so well. Keep working hard and you will definitely draw better." The child's desire to perform is satisfied, and he has a happy emotional experience, so he will be more interested in painting.

Tone of encouragement

It is impossible to expect a child to be without mistakes. When a child does something wrong, don't just criticize and blame him. Instead, help him learn lessons from his mistakes, accumulate experience, and encourage him to succeed again. For example, when a child helps his mother carry a bowl of rice for the first time, he accidentally drops it and breaks it. You can't blame him: "You can't even hold a bowl steadily, you're so stupid." This will undermine the child's confidence and courage to try new things. You should use an encouraging tone: "Xingxing accidentally broke the bowl, it's okay, next time use your fingers to test whether it is hot before picking it up." This way, you not only teach the practical method, but also give the child the confidence to try again.