The 7 types of dads most likely to ruin their children, are you one of them?

Because parents don't want to disappoint themselves, they keep putting pressure on their children. When a child constantly caters to the expectations of his parents, he loses himself, and his life is no longer comfortable and smooth. He could only cling to the "excellence" for which he had paid such a great price. Such an "excellent" child is a bomb that can explode at any time, either hurting others or destroying himself. There is a statistic that 23% of children with mental illness in college were recognized as "excellent" in junior high and high school. But children are very different, and many are unable to meet their parents' expectations even with coercion or inducement, which leads to inferiority complex and rebellious mentality.

In fact, children already feel guilty when they cannot satisfy their parents. If parents scold them again at this time, the guilt will turn into disgust and then into giving up, or they may endure it temporarily, but this will sow the seeds of mental illness which may erupt at any time.

This is a common problem among most parents. When parents often compare their children with other children, the children will also think that they are incompetent, thus losing self-confidence and becoming inferior.

If you get first place in the exam, we will buy you a pair of hiking shoes! If you are in the top five, our whole family will go on a trip! Many parents regard this as a reasonable and enlightened reward and punishment measure for their children! Little do they know that the subconscious message this sends to children is: only if you meet your parents' standards can you be loved. Then the child will pay the price of losing himself in order to gain the love of his parents!

There are two consequences of predicting that a child will be a failure. First, the more you say he will be a failure, the more he will lose his fighting spirit and learning ability, and eventually your prediction will come true! For the other type of child, the more you say he will be a failure, the more he will want to prove that he is successful, but he will live his whole life in "proof", lose himself, and also lose the wisdom to live and the wisdom to make himself happy.

There are three stages of a child’s psychological independence: 3, 9 and 12 years old. When children are young, they eat by themselves, and parents should care for them but not interfere. Don’t say, “You’ve got food on your clothes, let me feed you!” Or you should choose for your child what clothes he wants to wear! It is also unwise to enroll your child in piano lessons without telling him/her. Parents always use "their own minds" to control their children, but they ignore that the process of replacement is depriving children of the process of growth. If you deprive your child of certain aspects of growth, the child will lose certain abilities.

Not believing that children have the ability to control themselves and not believing that they can actually do it will completely destroy their self-esteem and motivation. In order to cultivate children to become successful, they should be raised to become adults first, otherwise there will be more and more problem children of various kinds.