How can parents make their children self-aware?

Adults think they can explore children's inner world, but in fact children are the masters at figuring out adults. They are keenly aware that their parents often "say one thing and do another." One more time on the slide, one more time to play the game, one more bedtime story…such “endless” requests often make it difficult for parents to cope with them.

We have to let our children know that everything has its limits, that they must abide by certain rules, and that they can't do whatever they want endlessly. However, many parents find that after all their efforts, they always get half the result with twice the effort and achieve little results. The reasons are as follows.

Ignoring children’s psychological feelings

In fact, children have very little chance to control their own lives. They have just dominated their own lives for a short while and enjoyed a period of freedom and happiness. But when adults say, "Time is up, we should leave" or "That's all, there is no more," they are about to take away their right to self-control. Think about it, how can they be happy?

Parents often say they can't do it

Adults think they can explore children's inner world, but in fact children are the masters at figuring out adults. They are keenly aware that their parents often "say one thing and do another." For example, when an adult announces, "Kids, you can still play for 10 minutes," the time they end up getting may be only 5 minutes or as long as 30 minutes. They realize that adults' stance is not that firm, and therefore, they often hope to get adults to give in by throwing tantrums, acting a little coquettishly, nagging, throwing a tantrum, or pretending to be pitiful. In fact, parents often fulfill their wishes.

So, what should parents do to make their children self-aware?

Step 1: Show your bottom line

Compromising is tantamount to rewarding children for achieving their goals through constant nagging. Therefore, when facing children's requests, parents should let their children clearly understand their bottom line.

Step 2: Prepare to leave

For example, you take your children to visit a friend's house and it's time for you to go home. You should first inform your child: "You can play with your cousin for another 10 minutes." Before the time is up, you should be prepared to leave, pack up your things, and say goodbye to your friends. When the 10 minutes are up, say to your child, "Time's up, let's go." Then leave immediately. If you don't do this, the next time you say "It's time, let's go," your child will likely ignore your words.

Step 3: Stay Calm and Don’t Compromise

In order to achieve their goals, children may use all kinds of tricks. At this time, parents must remain calm and not compromise.

If the child resists more violently, give him a "warning" and tell him what "consequences" he may face. In order to make this trick effective, the "consequence" should preferably be the cancellation of something he cares about, or plans to do something, such as going to bed 15 minutes earlier, not allowing the child to watch TV, not allowing the child to play with his favorite toy, etc.

I guarantee that you will find it easier and easier to respond to your children’s requests for “just one more time” in the future.