Four major contradictions hidden in intergenerational education

As an objective form of family education, grandparents' education has a great impact on the development of children's personality. Nearly 50% of children in my country's cities and towns grow up with their grandparents. The younger the child is, the higher the proportion of them living with their grandparents. How do you view intergenerational education in China? In the long run, intergenerational education may do more harm than good, but we cannot completely deny it. But the four major contradictions hidden in it are undeniable facts.

1. Feeding method

Clinically, it is found that young children who are fed by their grandparents are more likely to develop bad habits such as picky eating and partial eating. Old people tend to be kind-hearted, and nowadays children are all only children, so they are afraid of it melting if they hold it in their mouths, and afraid of it falling if they hold it in their hands. Especially when it comes to eating, I am very accommodating to my children. I let them eat whatever they want and not eat whatever they don’t want. Long-term pampering can easily lead to children's picky eating to a certain extent, and children's picky eating is an extremely bad eating habit. Long-term picky eating will harm the child's healthy development.

2. Discipline methods

Many elderly people tend to be at two extremes when disciplining their children: too strict or too lenient. One likes to supervise the child in everything and check the child's behavior frequently. According to the traditional way of discipline, children are expected to grow up according to the route planned by adults, and all actions must be under their command, starting from infancy. The other extreme is to spoil children and allow them to do whatever they want. Most young parents are influenced by modern education and will respect their children more. They will give their children appropriate space and freedom to prevent excessive indulgence and pampering.

However, infants and young children are lively and active by nature. They have no social experience or fixed patterns, so they often make various "mistakes". If you use adult standards to hold them to standard all the time, they will lose confidence. Give positive encouragement to the several “first times” that occur during your baby’s growth process. Treat your baby as an individual, respect his choices, and don't help him do things that he should do by himself just because you are worried that he may not be able to do it well.

3. Early intellectual development

The concept of education is different in different eras. In the time of our ancestors, early education was almost synonymous with intellectual development. Moreover, many grandparents tend to do too many things for the baby because they love their grandchildren so much, which indirectly makes the baby lose the opportunity to learn. Therefore, the key to educating babies is to make grandparents understand the core concepts of the new generation's education and ask them to cooperate with parents.

4. Safety hazards

Xiaoling lives with the child, but her grandfather is responsible for picking her up from kindergarten and taking care of her. A thrilling event two months ago made Xiaoling break out in a cold sweat. The five-year-old child is active and naughty. The temperature is high in summer and his grandfather has recently suffered from a decline in physical strength. The child likes to eat ice cream, so after school his grandfather took his grandson to buy some. The ice cream shop was across the street, and the child was impatient and ran straight to the ice cream shop. His grandfather couldn't catch up with him for a while, and the child rushed out without even looking at the traffic lights, and hit a taxi, causing a broken leg. Talking about this, Xiaoling burst into tears. Grandpa also blamed himself for being too careless. His blood pressure rose so high that he was admitted to the hospital.

Among the various conflicts in grandparents’ parenting, safety hazards are the most fatal. Parents are the guardians of their children, but grandparents’ parenting transfers the shackles of guardianship to their grandparents.

Once a safety accident occurs, who will bear the responsibility? The elderly are not as energetic and physically strong as children. Their brainpower cannot keep up and their reactions are slow. They often even need to take care of themselves, let alone take good care of their children. In terms of guardianship, in addition to relying on the elderly, the children's parents should also pay more attention, or hire a nanny and let the elderly direct and supervise from the side. The young nanny is young and energetic, and the old man is caring and experienced. The combination of the two can complement each other, and hidden dangers of danger will naturally be eliminated.