What should I do if my children often fight?

It is normal for children to have conflicts when they get along with each other, and children have very poor ability to resolve conflicts, so they often fight. As parents or teachers, we must look at the issue of children fighting objectively. First of all, we must not ignore it, and also don’t be too nervous. Also, we must not protect our own children, otherwise it will be detrimental to their children’s future. So if you find that your children often fight, how should parents solve it?

What should I do if my children often fight?

Children are always children and they don’t understand many things yet. If you want to stop them from fighting, you should tell them that this is your younger brother and you should love him because he will be your closest person when he grows up.

If there are multiple people looking after a child, many people will let the child play by himself, and the younger child may suffer. If there is an adult around to look after him, perhaps things will be much better.

When children fight, don’t just emphasize the mistake of one child. For example, don’t always blame the older child. Sometimes the younger child is just being too willful.

When children fight, adults don't need to get involved immediately. Children can solve many problems by themselves, so just wait and see.

Discuss with the older children whether they can help take care of the younger children. This way, there will basically be no conflicts.

If there is really no way to resolve the conflict, then you can only give up and let the two children play separately. This is the most helpless choice.

When two children fight, parents often focus their attention on the stronger child and criticize him constantly. The most common reason why fighting between two children has become the norm is that they need to compete for their parents' love and attention. For many children, an important way to get their parents' attention is to provoke another child. This not only allows them to vent their dissatisfaction with the "competitor for favor", but also allows them to attract the parents' attention and let them enjoy the feeling of being cared for alone.

For this reason, when parents deal with conflicts between their two children, it is best not to focus on the child who is causing trouble. Otherwise, he will have a sense of accomplishment in successfully attracting the parents' attention, which will further strengthen his motivation to cause trouble and lead to more possibilities of conflict.

On the other hand, if parents change their strategy and focus on the injured party, he or she deserves more comfort due to the physical and psychological trauma suffered. Parents can ask the bullied children where they feel uncomfortable. Or ask him why the other child bullied him and tell him that you do not agree with the child's solution. Sympathy and comfort from parents will make bullied children feel much better. And appropriately "hit" the troublesome child while comforting him. For example, while applying mercurochrome to a child whose arm was scratched, you can say, "Scratching people is not a good habit. Mom doesn't like this behavior. Sister should learn to express her anger with words. Even if she is angry, she can't scratch people." In this way, the child who gets into trouble will find that getting the parent's attention by provoking another child is ineffective and may even backfire, and the probability of getting into trouble in the future will be much lower.