What to do if your child talks back to you?

The situation in each family is different. Those more traditional families will teach their children from an early age to obey their parents unconditionally. If they find that their children talk back to them at this time, the parents will be particularly angry and furious. Generally speaking, children are most likely to talk back to their parents during their rebellious period, and may even yell at their parents. This is a very serious problem. From the perspective of parents, this problem should be solved through the following methods.

What to do if your child talks back to you?

1. Objectively analyze and accept the child’s point of view

To a certain extent, children's words of defiance are extreme, and when parents get angry, they tend to completely deny their children's views, resulting in a fierce "debate" between the two sides. The child is just expressing his or her own opinions in a perhaps inappropriate way and looking for a way to become independent. Parents should objectively analyze the child's activities to see if his or her demands are reasonable. Parents should not deny everything in a fit of anger and label the child as disobedient and unfilial. Parents should listen to their children's opinions, allow them to express themselves, and do not have to respond if they disagree.

2. Respect children

Many times, children’s defiance comes from feeling that they are not respected and understood, so they will fiercely resist their parents’ requests. When parents express and make rules, they should appropriately ask their children about their feelings and use more selective approaches, such as whether they want to do homework before or after meals? Give children space to choose freely and allow them to adjust their plans within a certain range. When children feel respected, they will communicate with parents in a peaceful manner instead of talking back. At the same time, if the child is really "reasonable", you can allow the child to argue, which is extremely beneficial to the child's development.

3. Parents should reflect on themselves

When children talk back to their parents, it is sometimes because their parents did something wrong. Parents should actively reflect on their mistakes. For example, some parents are too indulgent and overindulgent towards their children, causing the children to fail to develop empathy, be unable to accept criticism from others, and lack respect for their parents. Some parents discipline their children too much and nag them frequently, which makes their children feel annoyed and inevitably say rude things. Some parents criticize their children in front of others when they make mistakes and like to bring up old issues, hurting their children's self-esteem, which in turn causes the children to talk back. When a child displays defiance, parents should reflect on whether their own parenting methods make the child uncomfortable, and work together to reach an agreement instead of simply assuming that the child is wrong.

4. Don’t demand too much from your children.

If parents do not consider factors such as their children's abilities and age, and blindly make unrealistic demands on their children, they will invisibly increase their children's stress. Over time, when children feel exhausted and can no longer bear the pressure, they will naturally resist with words or actions. Not demanding too much from children and giving them space to develop freely will allow them to grow.

In short, when it comes to children’s defiance, parents should not worry, but should educate and guide their children, and thirdly, pay attention to the method. At the same time, parents should start with themselves and set a good example. If you are confused about how to discipline your adolescent child, you may want to make an appointment with a professional psychologist to discuss the issue.