What should parents do if their baby lacks a sense of security?

The baby's dependence on the parents makes the parents feel sweet, but some babies are already one year old and still like to stay with their mothers very much, and never leave their mothers' side, which makes the mothers very distressed. As a mother, I feel very conflicted. I don't know what I should do to let my baby start learning to face certain situations on his own. In fact, this may be a manifestation of my baby's lack of security. Why do babies lack a sense of security? How can we give babies a sense of security?

1. A sense of secure attachment is established before the age of one and a half

When a child is hungry, they have food to eat; when a child is thirsty, they have something to drink. From the moment a child is born, the caregiver will try their best to meet their needs. If this state of "responding to every request" continues, the child will develop a basic sense of trust in the caregiver. According to the research of American psychologist Erikson, establishing a basic sense of trust is a task that infants and young children must complete before the age of one and a half. Only on this basis will a sense of secure attachment (that is, the tendency to seek and maintain physical intimacy with caregivers) follow.

However, not all caregivers can meet the needs of babies, and misunderstandings may occur at certain times. For example, a baby cries because he is hungry, but the caregiver thinks he wants to urinate, which will make the baby feel distrustful. It is actually appropriate to have a small gap between "needs" and "satisfaction". Overly thoughtful care is not good for the baby. However, if the differences are large, for example, some young mothers do not know how to take care of the baby, or are too tired and stressed to take care of the baby, or their attitude towards the baby is sometimes affectionate and sometimes cold, it will cause the baby to feel insecure, which is manifested in crying, not daring to explore, slow language and movement development, and nervousness when seeing strangers.

2. Dealing with anxiety: accompany but not indulge

So, when the baby cries and doesn't want to play with other children, should parents show a submissive attitude? Experts believe that it is necessary to distinguish between the expression of insecurity of infants and young children and simple coquettishness.

The first thing to emphasize is that from birth to one and a half years old, babies need the company of their parents or caregivers, and this company should keep the baby within their sight at all times. Even if children at this age act like spoiled brats to their parents, they generally do not require strict correction. However, parents should focus on cultivating their baby's independence during the normal period. Unless the baby is sick and injections and medications make them feel very uneasy and they need the care and comfort of their parents, it is necessary to hold them more at this time. Otherwise, as the child grows up, if the parents still hold and coax the child all day long, the child will develop bad habits over time.

Parents should encourage their babies to explore new things while accompanying them. Especially for babies who are highly dependent, they should create sensory stimulation through toys, games and interactions with other babies. Maybe some babies have poor adaptability, so you can guide them slowly without being impatient. But if the baby just keeps on playing tricks, remember not to spoil him. Instead, adopt the approach of "being present but not paying attention". Accompany him but ignore him, or even show unhappiness, so that the baby will "back off when faced with difficulties".

As parents, we must be careful not to be too soft-hearted. Always giving in to your children will only backfire and be detrimental to the development of good living habits in your baby. The establishment of a baby's sense of security requires the joint efforts of both parents. As parents, we should encourage your baby to explore new environments and give him more sensory contact, which will effectively promote the establishment of a sense of security.