10 Troubles of Chinese Children Growing Up

Although Chinese society is constantly moving forward, social civilization is also constantly progressing. However, many traditional cultures of Chinese families have not changed, and parents always have many shortcomings in educating their children. Parents still need to learn more methods and knowledge of educating children. There is nothing to be embarrassed about. The following are things that will make Chinese children feel troubled during their growth. Let's see if you have such problems?

1. Family discord

Adults don't know how to be humble and often blame each other. In fact, whether it is parents quarreling or parents disagreeing with the elderly, it is a psychological lightning and thunder, rain and snow for children, but because they are still young and powerless, they can only hide in the corner and sob secretly.

A harmonious family atmosphere is like sufficient sunshine and water for a child's growth. The relationship between parents is like the weather for their children. Children's minds are still very immature. Bad weather not only hinders the healthy physical and mental growth of children, but often leaves lifelong psychological shadows. Building a warm and loving family is the responsibility of parents to their children.

2. Parents’ character

The teacher had just talked about the beauty of language, but when I got home I heard adults swearing; I had just received public morality education in class, but my parents littered and picked up money without turning it in.

The progress of civilization has enabled children to have a higher starting point in terms of public morality and cultivation than their parents. So let us put aside our parental airs and learn from our children. This is the result and trend of the development of the times and there is nothing to be embarrassed about. In fact, there is still a lot we need to learn from our children.

3. Parents don’t play with me

Children in their childhood love playing games with their family, but unfortunately, such opportunities are rare. Adults have their own world and ways of entertainment. In China, playing with children has always been considered dispensable.

It is such a wonderful thing to spend more time with your children, play more games with them, and watch them change and grow up day by day. When your children enter puberty or get older, such opportunities will be less. It is better to enjoy the God-given happiness now. Fathers should not think that it is shameful to be with their wives and children. This is the dregs of feudal patriarchy. The more civilized the society and class, the more importance people attach to getting along with their families.

4. No room for defense

There is no chance to appeal. If you insist on defending yourself, you will be regarded as talking back and will be severely punished.

This is a typical manifestation of feudal patriarchy, the opposite of the spirit of equality and democracy, and it is extremely harmful! Just imagine, if children are accustomed to adapting to injustice, if children have no ideas of their own except seeking permission, how will our beloved children face their lives? It is far more important to cultivate a rational child who dares to express his or her own opinions than to save the adults' face.

5. Parents’ bad habits or hobbies

The air was filled with smoke, the smell of alcohol, the sound of mahjong, and the other side of bad habits is a bad character. When adults drink too much and lose at mahjong, they are the ones who suffer in the end.

Bad habits not only bring trouble to your family, but more importantly, they are extremely harmful to your own body. No matter how many years the habit has lasted, you should still bite the bullet and give it up. There are no habits that cannot be changed, only people who don't want to change them!

6. Parents arrange everything

Whether it's what to wear, how to arrange time, making friends, or choosing interest classes, you can't make your own decisions. Adults always explain: What do children know? This is all for your own good.

The phenomenon of parents taking care of everything for their children is very common in China. It is either because parents are worried about their children or because they think their ideas are correct and important. In fact, no matter how young the child is, he or she is still an individual. Their interests and feelings need to be respected, and they should have autonomy within a certain range. Only by giving them the opportunity to make their own decisions can they develop their own personality and avoid being without any opinions of their own. When it comes to making friends, we should give them principled guidance, but it is best not to interfere specifically. In fact, different kinds of friends have different benefits. Friends who are not good at studying may be bold and smart, which can also enrich children's personalities. Don't we adults also need to have all kinds of friends?

7. Language Harm

Adults speak without thinking, not realizing that “a kind word warms you through three winter months, while a harsh word hurts you through six months of summer.” If you were not a child, you would never understand the feeling of being scolded and belittled by your parents.

Even when facing your own children, you should not speak indiscriminately. The younger the children are, the more dependent they are on their parents' evaluations. Negative evaluations and bad emotions can cause great harm to children. In fact, the same sentence can be said from different angles and ways. The angle of kindness and encouragement can have a more positive effect than blame and belittlement.

8. Study and Exam

Learning becomes part of life, and life becomes part of learning, without the proper freedom and fun of childhood. If they do well in the exam, they are afraid of being proud, and if they do not do well, "there will be a blizzard tonight".

It is understandable that parents want their children to achieve excellent results, but the question is how to really help their children. In fact, most parents' demands and supervision of their children do not work and are thankless.

9. No Privacy

It is common for diaries to be read and schoolbags to be searched. In order to completely monitor us, our parents use wits to outwit the strong and forcefully attack the weak, and they even call it "superior inspection."

Let me tell you a story. There was a girl whose parents were afraid that she would go astray in love, so they were always by her side. They confiscated her cell phone, and took turns escorting her to and from school. When she got home, she was locked in her room. The girl developed a great resistance to this and wanted to teach the adults a lesson. As a result, she became pregnant when her parents were watching her most closely. When interviewed by the reporter, the girl said: "I can borrow my classmate's cell phone if I hand it in. I have the key to my house. When he comes downstairs and calls me, I throw the key out of the window. He comes to my house and opens the door, and then I go out. It doesn't work at all that my parents locked me up at home. The more they 'imprison' me, the more I want to teach them a lesson. My pregnancy is a 'teacher' for them. They 'forced' me out." This is a true story that is very sad in reality. Apart from the disrespect for children in this way,

Management and monitoring are not only ineffective but also dangerous. As the saying goes, "If it is not blocked, there will be no flow; if it is not stopped, there will be no progress."

So, what should we do if we don’t monitor? The most effective way is to establish reasonable attitudes and values ​​for children. In short, what parents can do is teach their children to make choices rather than monitor, replace or force them to make choices.

10. Being wrongly suspected

If you get high scores in exams or essays, you may be suspected of cheating; if a vase is broken, money is missing, or your younger brothers or sisters cry, it is believed that you did it; if you do a good thing with good intentions but mess it up, or if you haven't finished it yet, you may be mistakenly thought to be naughty and severely criticized.

Without investigation, there is no right to speak. Even if the child is naughty, ignorant, or has a "criminal record", we should keep our doubts in our hearts before finding out the truth. We should not easily accuse the child. Being wronged is not a pleasant feeling. Such behavior shows great distrust and disrespect for the child. If we think about how we feel when we are doubted and wronged by our friends or leaders, we will know how distressed the children are.