"Table Stories" can help children become more sensible

During family dinners, telling "family stories" at the dinner table helps cultivate children's self-confidence and self-esteem, and enables them to get along well with their peers. If you discuss some negative events frankly with your children at this time, it will help them have stronger self-control and be better able to adapt when facing adversity.

The Family Narratives Project, led by Professor Marshall Duke, spent three years studying 40 families, each with a preteen between the ages of 9 and 12. The researchers recorded the families' dinner conversations on tape and asked them to answer questions to help determine the impact of family functioning on children's personality. "We were particularly interested in the transition into adolescence because this period is particularly important for the formation of personality and self-concept," the researchers said.

The researchers analyzed routine interactions at the table and the types of topics covered in conversation. They noticed that at almost every family meal, the conversation began with the parents asking their children about their day at school. Eventually, the conversation often turns to “distant events,” like weekend travel plans or a visit to grandma’s house.

After analysis, Professor Duke concluded that in addition to what parents say, discussions between parents and children are also important, and children's psychological growth benefits when their parents listen to them.

What impressed the researchers was that family stories and family histories contain things that are very important to children's growth, such as telling them where their grandparents grew up and how they met. Additionally, openly discussing negative events, such as the death of a loved one, with children can help them develop good adaptability. So, don’t go out of your way to avoid telling your children about negative events; don’t pretend they don’t exist at this time; in fact, they can learn from them how to cope with the inevitable ups and downs in life.

As many parents are busy with work, opportunities for family dinners are becoming less and less. Professor Duke is concerned that this will lose a good opportunity to cultivate a healthy personality in children. He said: "The opportunity for the whole family to eat together should be kept sacred."