What are the main reasons why children are not sociable?

In the past, due to the influence of eugenics and family planning policies, many families had only one child, so the child was spoiled and was like a little emperor at home. This leads to a problem. After starting kindergarten, many children seem to become very unsociable and even become the public enemy of other children. This is very detrimental to the children's growth. So what are the main reasons why children are not sociable?

What are the reasons why children are not sociable?

Surveys show that sociable children are significantly better than introverted and unsociable children in terms of knowledge, language expression, and interpersonal communication.

If a child is not sociable and has an unsociable personality, he will not only be isolated from the children around him, but it will also obviously affect his enterprising spirit and even harm his physical health. A child’s lack of sociability is related to his or her innate temperament, but the more important reason is due to the closed-style education provided by his or her parents. Parents keep their children at home all day, using the TV as a babysitter, and letting them keep toys, game consoles, and picture books as companions. They do not let their children go out to play with other children, for fear that they will have conflicts with other children or even develop bad habits. One child wrote in his diary: "I don't have any brothers or sisters, and my parents don't let me play with other children. Alas, I have to take the two little parrots in the cage as my companions." If this continues, over time, the child will become a bird in a cage.

The reason why children are not good at socializing is their parents

The reasons why children are not sociable are closely related to their parents’ attitude towards their children and the family environment.

Parents' excessive concern for their children and arranging everything for them often deprives their children of the opportunity to develop sociability. For example, when a child is learning to play by himself (around six months old), parents often pay too much attention to him, give him things, hug him, and prevent the child from fully and freely developing his own interests. Such children seldom say hello to others because their parents always speak first and teach them to call "Uncle X" or "Aunt X". Parents often like to show off their children to others, but if this happens too often, the children will feel embarrassed. When children are sick, parents always take care of them carefully and without sleep. Similarly, when children are naughty, parents tend to take the matter too seriously and make a fuss out of nothing. All these factors make children lack practice in how to express themselves for fun, and they don't know how to be sociable and likable.

After entering school, these children find it difficult to adapt to school life and make friends. When playing with friends of the same age, they cannot get along peacefully. They either quarrel and fight or shrink back and are eventually isolated from the group.

Because of the above reasons, the social adaptability of only children generally develops more slowly. If the child is not given timely guidance, he or she will gradually develop a lonely, introverted, weak, fearful, and taciturn character, and will lack the innocence and liveliness of other children. On the other hand, it can also cause people to work too seriously and pursue perfection, which can easily lead to getting stuck in a dead end.

Another reason why children are not good at socializing is that their parents are too serious, especially some first-time parents. Due to their lack of experience in educating children and their overly eager desire for their children to succeed, they often discipline their children too strictly. It’s like a beginner horse rider who is nervous and doesn’t know how to coordinate with the horse’s movements, and often treats the horse too aggressively. In this situation, both the horse and the rider are very tired. However, an experienced rider knows how to relax himself to adapt to the horse's movement, how to sit steadily, and how to gently command the horse. Raising children and riding horses are certainly two different things, but in spirit, they are the same. Therefore, parents should relax and approach their children with a gentle and friendly attitude.