What to do if your child is shy and timid

However, in life, we often see other people's children who, when meeting outsiders, often hide behind their family members and dare not speak, look at others, or even make a sound. Some children will become very lively and will move forward when seeing strangers. They appear very quiet when chatting with others. Therefore, for this opposite personality, parents will judge that their children are shy and timid. How should such a personality be improved?

1. We should give more care, attention and encouragement to timid children.

Timid children generally lack courage and creativity. Therefore, children should be educated not to do things that they should not do, and to have the courage to try things that they should do, without hurting their spirit of exploration.

Once a child is frightened or shows fear, parents should immediately caress the frightened child and tell him that being afraid is of no use. You should talk to him slowly, pat him gently or hug him tightly. Parents are the people he trusts the most, and doing so will make him feel safe. Fear is something that can only be overcome through education, experience, and protection from people you trust.

Don't always bring up things that might scare your child. The best way to comfort a child is not to talk all the time, but to control yourself, say as little as possible, and just hug him tightly. After he recovers, don't continue talking about the thing that scared him, and don't try to help him analyze anything. "Oh, baby, you were alone at home just now, were you scared?" Such words have no soothing effect, but instead emphasize the fear.

To solve the problem of children's timidity, you should pay attention to the following points:

1. As children grow older, we should broaden their horizons, let them come into contact with strangers, and learn more about the world.

2. Let your children interact more with other younger friends, and also play with older friends to help them gain more knowledge.

3. Encourage children's spirit of exploration and experimentation. Don't keep issuing bans, saying this is not allowed and that is not allowed.

4. It is strictly forbidden to intimidate children in life. Humiliating or embarrassing a child in public, for example, by scolding a child for spilling a glass of water or behaving clumsily.

5. Don’t make decisions for your child and let him become bold.

2. Make your child bolder through proper training

Some parents think that their children's timidity is not a big deal and it will naturally get better when they grow up, so they do not intervene in their education. Such parents lack sensitivity. In fact, if a child’s timid character is not educated, it will develop into an avoidant personality.

This kind of personality limits oneself to a small circle of self for fear of dealing with the outside world, whereas people develop through interaction with the environment. Therefore, in the long run, the ability development of such people will be hindered. Slow development of abilities, introverted and avoidant personality are signs of unhealthy psychological development. Therefore, we must be vigilant and provide timely education for timid children. The example above, where Yufan is so timid at his age that it affects his daily life, is a bit serious. He may be suffering from a mild anxiety disorder.

Children who are timid always have problems with both cognition and behavior. Therefore, it is necessary to solve both cognitive problems and behavioral training problems. The two complement each other.

For example, if a child is afraid to speak in front of strangers or in class, tell the child that as long as he has thought about what to say and how to say it, he can speak boldly and everyone is welcome. You can definitely do anything that other children can do, and do it well. After the child takes the first step with preparation, timely affirmation will make the second and third steps easy.

In order to speak in front of guests, you can first teach him to prepare a few sentences, prepare to serve tea and water, and practice. When the guest arrives, encourage him to do the same. The guest's praise is a reinforcement of his words and deeds. After a few times, you will be able to socialize boldly.

In order to help your child speak boldly in class, you can first invite a few children who have a good relationship with your child to your home and practice telling short stories, one person telling one story. Help your child prepare a short story in advance. After telling it once, he will be braver next time. Then contact student 2 and ask the teacher to ask him questions in class. Let the child prepare in advance. After he answers, the teacher will praise him and express hope, and the child will be eager to try next time. You can also ask your child to write down a few questions he doesn't understand and ask them in class when he is preparing for his homework. When there is a party in the class, contact the teacher in advance and let your child prepare a small program, or participate in a group program to get the opportunity to practice.