What should I do if my child doesn't go to school in the second year of junior high school?

Every parent wants their children to become successful, so they are very strict with their children's studies when they are young and let them learn a variety of skills. Some parents are not good at communicating with their children. When children are in the second year of junior high school, they have a strong rebellious psychology. Many children will be tired of the preaching of their parents and teachers, and often have the phenomenon of aversion to school. Now let me tell you what to do if your child doesn't go to school in the second year of junior high school?

First, we need to see whether the child has the common characteristics of children who dislike studying.

For example: very strong-willed, very sensitive, very concerned about other people's views and comments, likes to think, very perfectionist, very depressed; generally relatively obedient, more sensible, study hard, and have better academic performance.

The groups that are prone to school aversion mainly include: students with weak stress resistance, those who encounter setbacks or blows; mostly students in the third year of junior high school and the third year of high school; and students whose academic performance is beginning to decline or is about to decline.

If such children are tired of studying, it must be taken seriously.

Second, see whether the child’s reluctance to go to school is serious.

1. Mild aversion to learning.

The specific manifestations are: I used to like going to school and was very self-conscious when going to school, but now I always procrastinate before going to school, and after school I like to say: School is boring, I really don’t want to go to school; after returning home I always say: I am so tired, so annoyed, so annoyed; although I say this, I can still insist on going to school on time every day.

You must not be careless at this time. Don't simply think that the child is just talking casually and the child will not stop going to school. Some parents will even take the chance and think that my family conditions are so good, we are good at educating children, the situation of school aversion will not happen in my family, and my children will not hate school. Little did people know that the parents of children who were receiving psychological adjustment for their aversion to school at our Shanghai Shenguan Youth Base also thought this way.

If a child is unwilling to communicate with or say something to his or her parents, it means that there is a major problem in communication between the parents and the child. This situation must be taken seriously by parents and resolved. It is best to find a more professional psychologist in time to help you establish an intimate relationship quickly. After establishing an intimate relationship, you can then find out the triggers and underlying causes of the problem.

If the child is willing to communicate, after finding the problem, actively help the child solve it, and do not support preaching. Because children of this age have more mature thinking, many of them actually understand the big principles their parents talk about. They do not support their parents making long speeches at this time, nor do they support their parents asking outsiders who they think are authoritative and capable to participate in the persuasion. These children do not like others to know too much about their problems, and are even less willing to exaggerate things. They also care about their image and face in the eyes of others.

Remember, no matter whether normal communication is possible or not, never use violence. Not only will it not help, it will also cause secondary harm to the child and will only make it more difficult to solve the problem.

At this time, there are two things parents should not do: first, use cold violence and ignore the child's behavior; second, give long lectures all day long and be impatient and impatient with the child. In this way, the parents' emotions will directly affect the children's emotions, because children are very sensitive, and the parents' negative reactions will increase the children's emotional fluctuations.

The first solution is communication, and the timing and mode of communication are the same as in the initial stage.

Ask your child what has happened recently that has made him so upset? Why does he always complain of being tired? Does he feel that his parents have done something wrong? Is he angry with someone at school? Has his academic performance declined? Has he encountered any stimulation or setbacks? Why is he so anxious? Do he have trouble sitting still and concentrating at school? Etc.

Asking the above questions only makes the child feel that his parents understand him very well and knows that his current situation is not pretended or the result of disobedience. This can reduce the pressure on many children.

Regardless of the above problem, the handling method is as follows: first, don't preach; second, try every means to help children relax themselves; third, let children lower their requirements on themselves; fourth, if conditions permit, you can take children away from the source of stress temporarily, go out for a walk, and relieve emotions; fifth, if the above methods do not work, seek psychological help in time.

3. Severe aversion to learning. The specific manifestations are: basically not going to school, unwilling to go out, afraid to go out, shutting themselves off, unable to control the time spent online, large mood swings, liking to lose temper, and some children even smash things; very willful, stubborn and even paranoid, ambitious, saying one thing and doing another; not keeping their promises, saying they will go to school but not going on time, making unreasonable arguments, some don't even touch their books, feel very tired and exhausted all day, their work and rest schedules begin to become disordered, some are fine as long as you don't talk to them about school, and they lose their temper when talking about school, etc.

If this is the case, parents should never discuss schooling with their children, because the children are already unable to go to school and it is not easy to lecture them. Because the child understands everything but just can't go to school, you should talk to him/her about things he/she is interested in and take him/her out for walks. If the child is afraid to go out during the day, go out at night or travel away from familiar people. Try to maintain a close relationship with your child and maintain normal communication.