After reading this, do you still dare to let your children wear open-crotch pants?

I don’t know which genius invented open-crotch pants, which has led Chinese babies to start wearing them at a very early age. I don't know what the reason is, but so many years after diapers were invented, many parents still force themselves to hold their babies' diapers in the middle of the night, resisting the urge to sleep. Some parents are even so strict as to hold their babies' diapers when they are only a few days old. However, when the baby is old enough to be toilet trained, parents let the baby wear open-crotch pants and let the baby urinate and defecate anywhere.

Not using diapers can be a mother's choice

Wearing open-crotch pants also seems to provide a lot of convenience for adults who take care of children. For example, the baby's buttocks can be exposed and breathable for a long time, which makes it less likely for the baby to get a diaper rash. There is no need to change the baby's diapers or wet the pants all the time, and of course, it can save the cost of diapers. However, parents may overlook a harsh reality: for this convenience in life, your children may pay tangible and intangible prices in the future.

Psychologist Freud pointed out in his theory of personality development that experiences and lessons in infancy and childhood play an important role in the formation and development of personality. Many adult personality traits are related to the fixations they formed in one or several development stages in childhood.

The first stage of infant growth is the oral stage

Most of the baby's happiness during this period comes from mouth stimulation, so newborns to 3 years old have a strong desire to suck. If the sucking desire is not properly satisfied during this period, or if the baby eats too much (parents mistakenly believe that sucking means hunger and overfeed), oral stage personality traits may be formed.

When they reach adulthood, this group of people may be more likely to exhibit unhealthy lifestyles such as nail biting, overeating, smoking and drinking. Therefore, Western parents pay great attention to satisfying the oral desires of infants and young children, and thus invented the pacifier, which Chinese parents have always been uneasy about using. The second important stage of growth is the anal stage, which lasts from approximately 1 to 3 years old. During this period, babies get great physical pleasure and satisfaction from excretion activities, so how to scientifically train babies to go to the toilet independently at this stage is actually teaching and training children's self-control ability: between urinating and defecating anytime and anywhere and self-controlling the urge to defecate, babies learn how to satisfy their own desires while taking into account the environment, hygiene, privacy, and others. This is precisely the beginning of civilization and etiquette education. So, although wearing open-crotch pants is convenient for adults, it poses hidden dangers for children when they grow up. The baby's physiological satisfaction during the anal stage and the psychological feelings during the toilet training process will have a significant impact on the future personality formation. Too strict urination and defecation control or an overly indulgent open-crotch pants culture may lead to anal fixation, resulting in the manifestation of corresponding deficient personality traits in adulthood. Anal stage-excretory personality, that is, "random excretion" personality. Psychologists have found that bad living and hygiene habits in childhood, such as allowing babies to urinate and defecate anywhere, may cause the baby to have an excretory personality when he or she grows up. The most typical manifestations are not following the rules, being cruel, dirty, and destructive.

Anal stage - Retention personality, that is, "holding back" personality

If you force your baby to urinate or blame him or her once he or she wets his or her pants or the bed, or even beat or scold him or her, this may cause the baby to develop a non-excretory personality, that is, personality traits such as being stubborn, stingy, sticking to the rules, not daring to try new things, and being too rigid. When I was watching a discussion on "Family Education and National Soft Power" on Weibo Live, I was deeply impressed by a statement made by the host Yang Lan. She said that the most important part of a country's soft power is its values. A baby's values ​​are formed under the influence of family life. In my opinion, wearing open-crotch pants is not just a matter of hygiene habits, but also a sign that parents disregard the self-esteem and independent personality that their children should have. In fact, one-year-old babies have begun to develop a sense of shame and self-esteem. At this time, parents should convey the signal to their children that "urination and defecation are a private part" as early as possible. If you think about it carefully, when putting open-crotch pants on your baby, the focus of parenting is basically on the child's diet and daily life. On the contrary, there is little concern or no understanding of the child's psychological growth, habit formation, and the implantation of independent sentiments. This situation is quite common. Most of these parents have a group of strong grandmothers or great-grandmothers who take care of the third generation. Their parenting concepts rarely have psychological respect for young children. The parenting content basically remains at the feeding level, and the parenting method is the traditional "I say you do" model.

Therefore, we can imagine a series of sitcoms like this: parents start holding their children's diapers day and night from a few months or even days after birth, and start chasing them to feed them after they learn to walk. When the children reach school age, the parents who dote on them endlessly begin to criticize and put pressure on them, and even verbally abuse and beat them. If they are unable to break away from the feeding-type life role and adjust their position and mentality as parents, they will eventually develop to taking care of their children's work and interfering in their children's marriage... Therefore, a pair of open-crotch pants and a diaper should really be examined from the level of family education: if you let your child urinate and defecate anywhere, how can you provide the baby with an atmosphere and influence of basic etiquette? Forcing the child to urinate will lead to a lack of respect and independence between parents and children. Children who grow up in such an environment will find it difficult to develop the awareness and values ​​of respecting others and valuing etiquette over time. Parents who love their children more than themselves, if you are still complaining that the overall social atmosphere is bad and the general environment cannot be changed, then turn around now and help your baby change his open-crotch pants. This is the beginning of our family education.