What should I do if my child doesn’t fight back?

Children who go to school or play together often have conflicts. Children do not know how to handle conflicts correctly, and often fight each other. Children fighting is a common problem in schools. Some parents will find that their children do not fight back during fights. This may be because the children are timid. In serious cases, the children may be cowardly or inferior. How to solve this problem?

What should I do if my child doesn’t fight back?

Being beaten by other children in kindergarten is a problem that young children often encounter in social interactions. Young children's language expression ability is not yet sufficient, they lack the ability to restrain their own behavior, and they cannot predict how their behavior will affect other children, so conflicts often arise between them. And when the conflict escalates, it will be resolved directly by fighting, and the weaker party will naturally suffer. Of course, conflicts of interest are not the only reason for fighting. Fights can also be caused by teasing or a child's aggressive tendencies.

Inappropriate conflict resolution methods can lead to social and emotional problems in children, which is exactly what this parent is worried about. When a child is beaten, there are many ways to solve the problem. The key is whether this method can protect the child's self-esteem and self-confidence. A child not fighting back is not necessarily a sign of cowardice. Perhaps he thinks the other person is too strong, and fighting back will only cause more harm, and often be of no help. Blaming the child for being cowardly at this time will hurt the child instead. It may be more appropriate to let the child learn to avoid.

A more appropriate approach would be:

1. Find out why your child was beaten from various sources. It may not be enough for parents to understand the truth of the matter by just listening to their children's one-sided story. They can also listen to the teacher's statement to understand the cause of the fight and who started it first.

2. Check your child's emotional and behavioral responses after being spanked. What emotions does a child experience after being spanked? If your child is depressed, the first thing to do is to comfort his or her hurt emotions. What is the reason why children don’t fight back? Is it because they think there is no need to argue, or do they feel they have no chance of winning and dare not fight back, or do they feel they are wrong and should be punished? Is there a change in the way your child interacts with other people? If a child becomes submissive, withdrawn, and afraid to interact with others, it means that his self-esteem has been affected to a certain extent, and the child needs help to build self-esteem.

2. Help your child learn skills to cope with being spanked. If the problem is with the child himself, parents should help them build confidence and assist them in correcting these problems. At the same time, children should be made aware that even if they do have problems, it is wrong for the person who hits them. If it is not the child's own problem, parents need to help the child find appropriate ways to deal with it. This can be done by convincing others with reason, seeking external help, or even escaping. Fighting is also a method, but the cost may be very high, because children cannot control their own behavior and may cause irreparable harm; secondly, if you cannot shake hands and make peace after a fight, you cannot fundamentally solve the problem.