7 things parents should never indulge their children

Learn to tolerate temporary discomfort, troubles, and even necessary pain. Therefore, the following behaviors of children must be stopped in time, and must not be lenient, let alone turn tolerance into indulgence:

1. Stealing

The child shows you a pair of miniature crystal shoes and tells you that he picked them up from the floor of his friend's house.

Standard practice: Take the child to return the item immediately and ask him to apologize in person: "I'm sorry, I took your things home to play with. Now I'm returning them to you. Please forgive me." Through the process of "returning the item to the original owner", let the child learn to have the courage to admit mistakes.

Children aged 3 or 4 have no concept of “property rights” or sense of ownership. They think that whatever they like and want is theirs. In this regard, parents should never adopt the attitude of "this will not happen again". Remember the old saying: Do not refrain from doing good deeds because they are small, and do not do bad deeds because they are small.

2. If you can’t get it, take action

The children were playing with sand. One of them tried to grab his friend's toy bulldozer, but failed and bit the friend's hand. As a result, the bulldozer was obtained as desired.

Standard practice: Parent-child educator Dr. Dong Jinyu believes that parents must severely criticize children who bite others, let them know that biting is wrong, that it has caused harm to other children, and they must apologize in person; at the same time, let them understand that if a child is unwilling to lend them a toy, they should learn to accept this disappointment.

In addition to criticism and reasoning, a certain amount of punishment is indispensable, and the opposite treatment of punishment should be presented to him: caring for and comforting the bitten child. This will help children understand that attacking others is not only impossible to succeed, but also will not bring any benefits, and they will consciously abandon aggressive behavior.

3. Not sleeping when you should

3. It’s 10pm and time for bed, but the child spreads dolls and stuffed toys on the bed

How to meet the standard: Point to the cartoon clock on the wall to signal to the child that it is time to go to bed, and tell him that only by going to bed on time can he not be late for kindergarten the next day. No child will go to bed on their own initiative, they never get enough of playing. If parents allow their children to go to bed late again and again, it will be difficult for them to develop a regular schedule and good living habits. Therefore, no matter what reasons the child gives, parents must find a way to refuse.

4. Can’t move when seeing toys

In the supermarket, you refused to buy the Barbie doll, but your daughter held it tightly and refused to let go no matter how you explained. She even sat down on the ground.

Standard approach: Make your attitude clear to your child: You will not buy toys today because you just bought a set of Barbie dolls not long ago.

If the child does not listen to the parents and acts unreasonably, you may ignore him and continue to choose other items, or pretend to leave and let him sit on the ground and cry. It is unwise to compromise, otherwise the child's willfulness will become worse. After the child calms down, make him understand through reasoning or telling stories that sensible children are liked, but throwing a tantrum or crying will get him nothing and make him disliked.

5. Heavenly maiden scatters flowers

Before going to bed, the 6-year-old child took off his clothes and threw them on the table and stool, and even let one sleeve hang on the ground.

How to meet the standard: Say to your child, "Put on your pajamas and fold your clothes. Before taking a nap in kindergarten, didn't the teacher ask you to fold your clothes neatly? The teacher also told mom that you did a very good job and sometimes even helped other children. Mom knows you are a very orderly child. Come, mom will look at the watch. You can definitely finish it within 3 minutes. Let's start right away." You don't have to speak loudly, but you must be gentle but firm.

Parent-child educator Dr. Dong Jinyu believes that children like to hear nice words, and their mother’s emphasis on their good behavior is a positive encouragement to them. Through repeated supervision, children can gradually learn to take care of themselves and understand how to take responsibility.

6. Cover up the truth with lies

The 8-year-old child used his "kung fu" to smash the vase into pieces. When his mother asked him about it, he said it was the cat at home who did it.

Standard practice: Encourage the child to tell the truth: "Tell Mom what happened. Breaking the vase is not a scary thing, what is scary is not daring to admit it. Mom likes children who are honest and dare to take responsibility for their actions." In this way, dispel the child's concerns, encourage him to tell the truth, and "hug" and praise him as soon as possible.

Children over 6 or 7 years old know that lying is wrong, but they do it to avoid punishment. If you believe what he says, or even if you don't believe it but don't pursue it, you are encouraging this bad habit, causing him to sink deeper and deeper into the quagmire of lies.

7. I want to have enough fun at once

When it was time to end the game, the 9-year-old child sat in front of the computer without moving.

Standard approach: Show your tolerance to your child: "Okay, I'll give you another 5 minutes to finish this game. If you don't finish it, you won't be allowed to play tomorrow."

Computer games are addictive, especially for children. Therefore, parents must set a time limit for their children to play games, such as once a day for about half an hour, and strictly urge them to comply. By obeying external constraints, they can gradually learn self-discipline and self-control.

In addition, parent-child educators believe that parents can remind their children once 5 to 10 minutes before the specified time so that they can be mentally prepared and provide the possibility for them to leave the computer on time.