8 ways to praise your children to make them smarter

1. More specific praise

Think carefully about what message you want the praise to convey. Usually praise is to encourage more good behavior, so praise should be specific: "You have been helping your mother move things, it's hard work!" "You put on your shoes by yourself!" "You worked hard on this painting for the whole morning!" Instead of saying all the general things: "You did a good job!" "You are awesome!"

2. Emphasize praise for effort

The most effective praise focuses on the process and the effort put into it, not just the results. Praising the results is not very valuable. Effective praise will encourage children to move forward. They can learn to be self-motivated instead of doing something for your affirmation. Such praise is a real encouragement to children, such as: "Wow! You built a very high house! You can stack so many stones so neatly!"

3. Start the compliment with “you”

Saying this can help children look at themselves and feel proud of their achievements. For children, a sense of accomplishment and pride can motivate them to keep working hard to achieve success.

4. Emphasize the effect of praise

If your child helps others, praise can focus on the effect of those things, such as "You gave the truck to Guoguo to play with. Look, he looks very happy."

5. Anticipate praise

"When I call you, just come to my side. This can save me a lot of time." By saying this, the child will feel embarrassed to hear you calling him without responding.

6. Praise without adding subjective judgment

“The bird you drew looks like it’s about to fly out of the paper” is better than “I like the bird you drew.” Children need to be praised to feel good about what they do, not just about their mother's praise.

7. Praise in the form of questions

Sometimes, your thoughtful questions can reveal your respect for your child's likes and what he does better than any praise. The care shown by this kind of question is the greatest reward for children: "Which part of the castle was the hardest to build?" or "What is your favorite color in your painting?"

8. Reduce praise such as "good" and "awesome"

Such simple praise is often a way for us adults to unconsciously treat children perfunctorily. At best, it is just a judgmental praise. This kind of judgmental praise will ignore the child’s specific abilities. If it is given too frequently, it will make the child addicted to the feeling that he is great at everything he does and he is perfect. Over time, children always rely on adults to tell them what is right or wrong, and are accustomed to pleasing adults and meeting their expectations. He will measure his own value by whether he can make others happy. In other words, judgmental praise will make children care too much about external recognition, but their inner passion for doing things is not stimulated, and they do not know how to motivate themselves. It is necessary for children to learn to be their own judges, their own cheerleaders, and their own leaders.